Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Marriage is not easy and I don't think it's supposed to be. Once you add children, a mortgage, bills and other responsibilities to the mix, it can get overwhelming. You can start to feel less and less like lovers and more like roommates. Two people making changes and adjustments to their lives is bound to cause moments of tension anger, doubt, etc. I've found the key is to remember why u fell in love to begin with and focus on moving forward beyond the tough times. Saying "I do" is the easy part, saying "we can" is the true test! Finding that one person you couldn't imagine not having by your side is priceless.

My husband and I were having a conversation a few days ago when I was reminded that I never wanted to be married. Even after I met him. But then the light went on and I said what the hell are u doing? I said to myself, “Either marry him or love him and yourself enough to let him get on with his life”. I was okay with that, but what I wasn't okay with, is living with regrets and I knew if I walked away I would regret it forever! A year later we were married and I haven't looked back.

The alternative, staying a party girl and living for the moment, wasn't worth destroying the relationship. I knew I was on borrowed time; at some point he was going to tire of the BS and leave. I was young and dumb, but not dumb enough to see partying is temporary. I needed to grow up and nurture an adult relationship instead of being at every party. I'm blessed enough to have seen the light before I lost what really matters.

Marriage is hard! Period! Either you suit up and play like your life depends on it (because it kind of does), or sit on the sidelines and watch. I've seen enough games; I'm not beat for that. I wouldn't trade my husband, our ups, our downs, our babies or any of it for the world!

Tomane Boone-Harris


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