Friday, January 2, 2015

How many times have we heard the phrases, "If I get divorced, I ain't never get married again," or, "So, you’re doing it again huh? Better man than me,"? I'm 37, happily divorced at 28, and happily remarried. I got married young. Too young in my opinion. I was inexperienced, immature and not equipped to handle the hurdles that came with marriage and loving somebody that I wasn't evenly matched with. But, of course I didn't come to this conclusion during my divorce. The way I saw it, it was all her fault. I didn't make this important discovery until I met my present wife.

"The Girl from Texas" is what her label was at first. She was beautiful, smart and away from the only home she knew. I had to know her story. But marriage was not on the table at first. I wasn't sure I wanted to take that plunge again. I was a divorced man; apprehensive about every woman that came near me. It wasn't until a Saturday afternoon, almost three years ago, that I knew this was going to be different. We were hanging out in my apartment that we hadn't yet shared, when something happened that had never, ever happened to me before. Joking around, she did an impersonation that made me laugh harder than any woman has ever made me laugh. I don't mean a chuckle, but a gut busting, doubled over, laughter.

It was one of those moments I will never forget. It was that moment that not only made me say, "I'm gonna marry her," but it made me say to myself, "is this what real love is"? When somebody can make you laugh uncontrollably? Is this what I was missing? Something that simple forced me to challenge everything I thought I knew about relationships. Everything. How to be friends and lovers, and how important it is to have a life-long bond. A spiritual connection. Laugh often. At yourself and at each other. I had been going at it all wrong. I knew that now. Of course we have our hurdles, arguments and disagreements. But I look back at that moment I will never forget and it makes it all better.

I was happily divorced, happily single, and now, happily remarried. This isn't a do-over. It’s a Diddy remix with a new beat and hook! And I'm bumpin’ to it!

Life after divorce!

Peace and blessings.

Chris Irving


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